For the last couple of years, I’ve been seeing athletes, baseball players in particular, wearing necklaces that looked to be made of some type of cord with varying colors. I really didn’t give it much thought as I figured it was just another fashion trend that I somehow missed despite getting all of my advice from GQ and Maxim.

It turns out that these necklaces are not merely fashion accessories, but are made with titanium – not just any titanium – but a revolutionary new process! It’s coated with Aqua Titanium, has a core of micro-sized titanium spheres, as well as Carbonized Titanium. Wow! Carbonized Titanium!  It’s all part of the patented Energy Transport System.  (Did I say patented?  I meant trademarked.  Not really a difference, right?)

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Sports Newswire -Last night’s ALDS matchup between the Red Sox and Angel’s provided scientists with an opportunity to study the behavior of southern California sports fans in their natural environment.

Angel fan optimism was at an all time high going to the first game of the post season due in large part to the fact that the Angel’s finished the regular season with 100 wins, more than any other team in baseball.  The game proved to be a classic pitching duel as Boston’s Lester and LA’s Kackey shut down hitters through the seventh inning.

A home run by Sox outfielder Jason Bay in the top of the sixth was the first sign that the confidence of the so called Angel’s fans was shaken.  By the eighth inning, fan loyalty was being questioned by the broadcasters on the TBS network as fans started to leave their seats despite the Sox only having a slim 2-1 lead.  By the time the Sox scored two more insurance runs in the 9th, even the Rally Monkey couldn’t inject energy and enthusiasm into the hoards of dejected fans.

Scientists watching the events unfold are offering various theories to explain the odd behavior.  Professor Dick Baker from UCLA offered this preliminary hypothesis: “We have long suspected and I believe that tonight’s game confirms that southern California sports fans, and baseball fans in particular, are pussies.”